Toilet Tales
by Selunchen123
Summary: Ever wondered what Final Fantasy VII character do when they need a toilet? Not as silly as it sounds.
1. Chapter 1

This is not meant to offend anyone, it is purely made from my sick 'bored' mind. Flame me if nessesary, even though I like nice reviews better.

Disclaimer: that I don't own any of this (I do have my own toilet…)

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**TOILET TALES:**

Cloud Strife stood impatiently outside the door to the little pink toilet in the little Cetra's house. "Eh…uhm…Aerith?" a low grunting from inside the bathroom told him more than he wanted to know. Blushing at his thoughts that wandered through his head he consider knocking one more time, just to be sure that she would be done soon.

"A…almost there…" she muttered through the door and was followed by another fit of grunting. Cloud coughed nervously and began to feel himself get more and more anxious to get out there on the toilet. _Why did I eat that freaking soup Tifa made?_

The sound of toilet paper being ripped off brought him back to reality, and a sound from his own stomach made him clutch it in pain. "ooooooh…"

The flushing from the porcelain seat was a relief, as was the fact that Aerith would do him the honour of opening the door. Smiling sweetly she opened the door fully, but Cloud threw her out and slammed it close and remembered to lock it.

Sitting down he sighed as felt his stomach 'smile' in relief. Wrinkling his nose he thought silently. 'I wonder what Aerith ate yesterday….it sure doesn't smell good…'

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I am so sick! I mean it…this was just something I came up with when I saw the word Toile…and it made me wonder, why hasn't anyway bothered writing about Toilets? Those things are important too.


	2. Chapter 2

This is not meant to offend anyone, it is purely made from my sick 'bored' mind. Flame me if nessesary, even though I like nice reviews better.

Disclaimer: that I don't own any of this (I do have my own toilet…)

* * *

"yo…Vincent…I have a question…" a small ninja girl with short black hair, and a reputation of being a pain in the ass said. As usual there was no reply that indicated that he was actually listening to her.

"If Vampires drink blood, then they don't need a bathroom, do they? I mean, blood doesn't function that way, and they only eat blood…so if you went to a vampire's castle you wouldn't find a toilet…that would be kindda sad you know…"

Vincent rolled his eyes, as she continued to ramble, about how much vampires' lifestyles were so different from their own. "Hey Vincent…are you a vampire? I mean, you sure look like one. And you have this really pretty black hair and…"

"Yuffie…"

She turned around and stared at the occupied sign.

"I am not a vampire…and you, rambling about them, won't make me finish faster…" If Vincent had been a normal person he would have blushed on the spot….

Yuffie stared at the closed door to the toilet….

"Sometimes I whish you were…."

* * *

I try to update faster, however I am currently busy with a lot of things (like trying to get a life, going to the cinema, working, watching Naruto(damn! I want to make a Naruto Fiction))

So, Plastic flower(buuuh…I want reviews..(kidding…)) and The guide is taking a bit longer on updating than it usually would….Remember to review!

a blushing Vincent to: Blond of Flame09, kel-gi, mitsura, sora's savior, genis' girl, defenestrator.


	3. Chapter 3

Shera stood silently in the doorway, her eyes expressionless and dull. Cid looked up from the table, turning his attention away from the new airship he was building.

"what is wrong with you?" he asked with a sour expression.

Shera sighed and closed the door. He nodded.

"stop being such a wuss and make me some tea."

Shera nodded and turned to the kitchen table. Fixing the water and the tealeafs, she walked out of the door. Cid raised an eyebrow.

"where are you going?"

"Cid."

He raised an eyebrow.

"will you please stop smoking in the bathroom…?" that was all she said and with a soft click she left the captain in the kitchen. Cid had no idea what she meant.

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And neither do I. flame me or review me if necessary.


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